You shut your mouth How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved Just like everybody else does Some people cut themselves when they are depressed, but I choose to not sleep. It is kind of hysterical how little sleep I get any more.… Continue reading I don’t sleep enough anymore
Tag: rants
Pro-suicide thoughts
When it’s rooted in depression “Depression rots you on the inside, till you forget who you are, it makes life dry and lifeless, you feel numb, worst of all you lose your purpose, your drive and hope.” This is exactly how it feels right now. And yes, the brain really does shrink. And I increasingly… Continue reading Pro-suicide thoughts
40 reasons why I don’t have a problem with suicide
I wrote this as a response to a post that I found online, giving reasons to live instead of commit suicide. Interestingly, suicide is technically not illegal in the US, but in certain states it can be tricky business if known. Suicide is a very adult subject in my mind. I am really sad that… Continue reading 40 reasons why I don’t have a problem with suicide
Everlasting Love
The last time I thought about everlasting love involved being very sad, but today I decided to write down some motivating words that I heard in a video. I think they really summarize what I am thinking when I try so hard and refuse to let go of my Love. “Hopefully you continue to fight… Continue reading Everlasting Love
Trust, how to reconcile, and meditation exercise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xpIrfzZ_6A I think this video does a really good job of showing the concept of pulling away and how feelings of anger can arise. I really recommend it, because it shows how difficult it can be for people to see beyond hurt sometimes. Understanding the perspective of others can make the world of a difference!… Continue reading Trust, how to reconcile, and meditation exercise
Money does have more value when you spend it for the right reasons
As I ate a sandwich at work today…I thought about my Love. How he taught me how to handle my knife and fork, as I eat. How he thought it was cute how I’d get food on my face by accident sometimes. The bread had a nice crunch to it, and it made me think… Continue reading Money does have more value when you spend it for the right reasons
Heartbroken over what-if
Outside were two fire trucks, and ambulance, sirens going off, and children screaming. And all I’m doing is sitting sadly with my cheesecake (that is already completely gone now), chewing slowly. If I actually lived in this apartment complex, this would be terrifying. But I don’t, so I feel numb instead. The memory of the… Continue reading Heartbroken over what-if
Learn to love yourself?
The words still ring through my ears and hurt like acid on the eyes: my Love has told me before that he wants me to love myself first (or maybe more, or something like that) before I can have his love. I find this to be a very difficult idea. How can I do that… Continue reading Learn to love yourself?
Rules for…fair fighting?
https://youtu.be/t2bZTePuHb0 I found this video that does an excellent job defining how to demonstrate respect in a relationship. But they define it in the sense of fighting. Not quite the angle for handling a discussion that I would have expected! But interestingly enough, these principles date back to the 70’s, so rest assured, they have… Continue reading Rules for…fair fighting?
Cool Girl vs. Quality Girl
I have been trying really hard to be low maintenance. I insist that I do not need to have the car, so that my Love can be as free as he likes. I don’t think I am letting him walk all over me for it. I am being nice about it. Since we are living… Continue reading Cool Girl vs. Quality Girl
Sango and Miroku 