Since turning 35, I have had to face some harsh realities about myself as a human being. This is a diary about recovery, hopes, and dreams. Years ago, I remember my Love being very excited about this picture. Now I finally understand why. He actually never saw the series with me, but I found that… Continue reading The Journey Begins
Tonight I am having a couple of drinks. A few sips in and I feel it already. I have never been one to handle alcohol well. https://youtu.be/4waVZXKE0GU At first the wine had a sweet/tart flavor. Then I started getting afraid I would throw up like the last time I had alcohol. I'm really not sure… Continue reading Sweet True Lies
I wear Black on the outside 'Cause Black is how I feel on the inside And if I seem a little strange Well, that's because I am If I seem a little strange That's because I am
You shut your mouth How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved Just like everybody else does Some people cut themselves when they are depressed, but I choose to not sleep. It is kind of hysterical how little sleep I get any more.… Continue reading I don’t sleep enough anymore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWOrZq3fv64 Tonight I made myself some cheddar biscuits – the kind like Red Lobster serves. I have wanted to make them for a really long time, and long ago I think I put off the idea, because I wanted to make them around my Love’s kids. I figured something so caloric would be a… Continue reading Being Cold
I know what it’s like to be alone. I have a history of isolating myself. I lived alone for many years. And to the people who are hurting out there for that reason of suffering while alone, I am sorry. I am the kind who wants to reach out and help. I feel your pain… Continue reading Being alone
When it’s rooted in depression “Depression rots you on the inside, till you forget who you are, it makes life dry and lifeless, you feel numb, worst of all you lose your purpose, your drive and hope.” This is exactly how it feels right now. And yes, the brain really does shrink. And I increasingly… Continue reading Pro-suicide thoughts
I wrote this as a response to a post that I found online, giving reasons to live instead of commit suicide. Interestingly, suicide is technically not illegal in the US, but in certain states it can be tricky business if known. Suicide is a very adult subject in my mind. I am really sad that… Continue reading 40 reasons why I don’t have a problem with suicide
Sango and Miroku 