Inuyasha 23 – “he hasn’t forgotten you”

"And by the depth of this hole, I’d say she’s as feisty as ever!" - Shippo This episode addresses the thought - will my ex forget about me? No, never. I think it is an ideal reminder. Who can't relate with the pain in this episode if you have experienced a breakup... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFFsp9jbPi8 Another thing… Continue reading Inuyasha 23 – “he hasn’t forgotten you”

The sight of a happy family

At work today I saw a mom wanting to take a family picture. Before, I would have probably rolled my eyes at this. Now I feel really sad. I wanted to cry. I wish my Love would let me back into his family. They will be visiting for Christmas soon and even worse - I… Continue reading The sight of a happy family

This past week has been a busy one!

I spent every single day trying to find ways to improve the home. Just those little sort of things that make one a little happier when they are better. But this awful knot in my stomach, this bad feeling, this little voice keeps whispering in my head dark thoughts… Oh, please don’t drop me home… Continue reading This past week has been a busy one!

Better Place – Rachel Platten

My ears seem to notice all sad music no matter where I go now. I don’t even have to hear the lyrics. I sense it immediately like a sixth sense. But while I was at Fed Ex today, I heard this one and it spoke volumes to me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvI9PuGorwI This song title is especially comforting… Continue reading Better Place – Rachel Platten

Why I write – and the butterfly with the taste for death

I originally started this diary with the hopes to share my experiences with others. Maybe somebody else can relate with me, or maybe I can reassure somebody else that they are not alone. I do like to help others. But yes, I am here because I need help. I am struggling to be ok. But… Continue reading Why I write – and the butterfly with the taste for death

The Journey Begins

Since turning 35, I have had to face some harsh realities about myself as a human being. This is a diary about recovery, hopes, and dreams. Years ago, I remember my Love being very excited about this picture. Now I finally understand why. He actually never saw the series with me, but I found that… Continue reading The Journey Begins